Went to the morning men's group today with something to say. Though no longer surprising, yet still amazing, someone spoke directly about what was bearing on my soul. This time was so on the mark it was uncanny. The first guy to speak shared how his work was weighing on him, how fear and procrastination were effectively paralyzing him when it comes to action on a certain project, and how part of him just wants someone to be there with him while he does it.
Before the meeting, I sat at my desk in my office (at home) and looked at a chair in an alcove, thinking how I would really like to have someone sitting there with me while I worked on the several projects I have right now. Projects I haven't moved much on out of fear and procrastination.
One fella (who's rather hot!) always shares something that I can use (and it's not 'cause he's hot!) and he related how his procrastination can paralyze him. He said he has to just do something, anything. If it's a small thing on the to-do list, then wonderful, but even if it's not, just do something. So... I will just do something. I do not have to do the whole project in one sitting. I can do it piecemeal and still make progress.
I had to share this with "my people" to get it out of my head. I was (yeah, past tense) feeling a level of anxiety I've not felt in the past five years. I know that were I to leave it to fester in me, drinking to not feel it may seem like an option. The obsession is gone and I continue to do things I've learned to keep me spiritually fit. There are more things to learn and more learnings to practice. I'm grateful for the awareness and the willingness.
Just before the meeting, I shared with a fella about how I have a LOT of good problems... A LOT. I still have the same things and they can still be called good problems. However, there was a bad problem that needed immediate addressing... my thinking. Thank God it's changed. Life is good.
= recently updated
